​The Philly Cheesesteak has no beef,
The bread it’s on has no wheat,
And the stuff that they call cheese,
Is absolutely dairy free.
 
Yes, you’ll find all you want and more,
On the shelf of the health food store.
                                                  
There are eggless eggs, such a treat,
The fishless tuna’s really neat,
The vegan chicken’s quite a feat,
There’s so much faux for us to eat.
 
And all this lets us grace our table,
Keeps our diet so sustainable.
 
With enzymes, glutens, isolates,
Powders, extracts, protein concentrates,
Fungus, gums, chlorides and phosphates,
Roots get squeezed until they lactate,
 
All this gunk gets brewed and stewed,
To go in a bag that says natural food.

On my block in New York City

The rules could not be plainer,
The city’s very strict, you see

‘bout separate trash containers.

Metals, glass and plastics you
Must keep a week at a time,
Or the garbage cops will stick you

With a nasty little fine.

It really gets a tad bizarre


With garbage food has been in,
They say that bottles, cans and jars

‘fore tossing we should rinse them.
​
I hear that reservoirs are low


Fresh water’s getting scarce,
But I live in New York City, so
I have to wash my trash.

Wi-Fi on the subway platform,
What good is it? I cite,
The P.A. System that just warned,
"Keep cell phones out of sight."